An old man was walking down the street in Brooklyn. He saw a young boy sitting in front of a candy shop, eating sweets as fast as he could. The man walked up to the boy and said it was not healthy to eat so much candy. The boy looked up and told him that…
A wife asked her husband if she was looking fat.He said yes.She told him to be quiet and never talk to her like that again. She asked again if she was looking fat.He said no.She called him a liar. She asked again if she was looking fat.He said maybe.She asked if he could ever be…
An old lady had three grown-up sons. Each of them bought her a present for her milestone birthday. The first son, who had done well in life, bought her a beautiful big house. The second son bought her a fabulous big car. The third son knew his mother was very devout. After searching for something…
A teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students. Little Johnny was trying to put on his boots and asked for help. She could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still would not go on easily. By the time the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. Then…
An old man of about seventy years went to the bank to give his life certificate. The young lady at the counter was very polite and thanked him before saying everything was fine. The old man smiled and asked if she thought he was alive. She looked surprised. He explained that she had not checked…
Dad asked Little Johnny why his grammar teacher was upset with him yesterday. Little Johnny said he was just trying to clear his doubt and had asked her a question she could not answer. He explained that she got frustrated and told him to stop being silly. Dad asked what the question was. Little Johnny…
An old man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Christmas fancy dress party. He does not know what to wear to hide both his head and his wooden leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel…
At a mental hospital a doctor asks an old man what he is holding. The old man says it is a book he wrote and that it has a total of five hundred pages. The doctor is surprised and asks what he wrote. The old man says that on the first page he wrote that…
A husband and wife get up on Sunday morning. After breakfast the wife notices that her husband is not dressed for church. She asks why he is not dressed for church. He says it is simple and that he is not going. She asks why not. He says he has three good reasons for not…
A three year old boy named Little Johnny went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. When they got home he excitedly told his mother that there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. His mother asked how he knew that. He said that his dad picked them up and looked underneath….