A very refined lady goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel for her grandson’s birthday. As she doesn’t know which one to get, she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Wal-Mart associate is standing there wearing dark glasses. She says, “Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about…
A three-year-old boy little johnny went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, “There were 2 boy kittens and 2 girl kittens.” “How did you know?” his mother asked. “Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,” he replied.? “I think it’s printed on the bottom.”
A husband and wife get up on Sunday morning. After breakfast, the wife notices that her husband isn’t dressed for church. “Why aren’t you dressed for church?” “Simple. I’m not going.” “Why not?” “Well, I’ll give you three pretty good reasons why I’m not going. First of all, the church is cold in the morning….
An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, “I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.” The…
An old-timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man. The Old Man says, “Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it’s built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months.” “But do they call me…
A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately, the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side…
The car sped off the highway, went through the guardrail, rolled down a cliff, bounced off a tree and finally shuddered to a stop. A passing motorist, who had witnessed the entire accident, helped the miraculously unharmed driver out of the wreck. “Good lord, mister,” he gasped, “Are you drunk?” Of course,” said the man, brushing the…
A couple had been married for 40 years and he managed all of the money. He told his wife that he did not ever want her to look inside the safe. One day, when he was away her curiosity got the best of her and she looked into the safe and found $10,000 and three…
When 6-year-old Johnny and his mum are waiting at the bus stop, she says to him. “I’ll get a ticket for myself and if the driver asks how old you are, tell him you are 5, then I won’t have to pay.” The bus pulls up, they get on and Mum pays for an adult…
A rat swallowed a diamond and the owner of the diamond contracted a man to kill the rat. When the rat hunter arrived to kill the rat there were more than a thousand rats bunched up altogether and one sitting by itself away from the pack. He spotted and killed the one sitting by itself…