Little Johnny raised his hand and asked his teacher, “Can I get in trouble for something I didn’t do?” The teacher looked surprised and said, “Of course not, Johnny! That wouldn’t be fair.” Johnny smiled with relief and said, “Great! Because I didn’t do my homework.”
One morning, Little Johnny was eating his breakfast. He started thinking and asked,“Mom, why does Dad have so little hair on his head?” His mom smiled and said,“He thinks a lot, sweetheart.” Johnny thought for a second and then asked,“Then why do you have so much hair?”
A woman went to the grocery store to buy a roast chicken for a special dinner she was planning. She looked through all the chickens but couldn’t find one big enough for her guests. So she asked an employee, “Excuse me, do these chickens get any bigger?”The worker smiled and said,“No ma’am, they’re already cooked.”
An elderly woman went to get her portrait painted.She told the artist, “Please paint me wearing diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby brooch, and a gold Rolex.” The artist looked confused and said,“But you’re not wearing any of those things.” She smiled and said,“I know. But if I die before my husband,…
A man is reading the newspaper when his wife suddenly hits him on the back of the head with a frying pan.He says, “Why did you do that?”She says, “I found a note in your pocket with the name ‘Betty’ on it.” He replies, “Oh come on, honey. Remember when I went to the racetrack…
A young boy walks into a barber shop. The barber whispers to his customer,“This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch this.” The barber holds out two hands one with a five-rupee coin, and the other with two one-rupee coins.He calls the boy over and asks,“Which one do you want, son?” The boy picks…
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender,“If I show you something amazing that you’ve never seen before, will you give me a free beer?”The bartender says, “It better be really good.” The man takes a hamster out of his coat pocket.The hamster runs along the bar, jumps off the edge, flips…